Amatonormativity vs Allonormativity

Hot take: amatonormativity does not mean what many people (who actually know the term ahaha) think what it means! Let's get controversial.

The term amatonormativity was coined by Elizabeth Brake in her book 'Minimizing Marriage' in 2012. Thus, it wasn't developed in the aro community as a community. Brake about amatonormativity: "[It's] the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, [... it's] a shared goal." It does not describe alloromantic normativity. (source: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/)

Considering this, amatonormativity is something much more specific than the assumption everyone is alloromantic - amatonormativity is not an aro 'counterpart' to allonormativity. Originally, the term amatonormativity is not based on attraction.

However, parts of the aspec community apparently do understand and use it as such. Consequently, the term allonormativity is used to describe the assumption everyone is allosexual. In the same manner, amatonormativity is used by many to describe the assumption everyone is alloromantic. Which leaves us with the problem at hand, namely Brake's original definition of the term amatonormativity.

Obviously, definitions and meanings of words can change; but since the term - as coined by Brake - describes something very specific in a very tangible way, we think it useful and sensible to use it in its original meaning.

This leads us to the question: What do we call the assumption that everybody experiences romantic attraction when allonormativity is solely used regarding sexual attraction (as it is the case in many definitions we've encountered so far)?

Amanormativity seems to be used by some people - this term's origin is quite vague, though. Was it initially a typo and someone actually meant to write amatonormativity? If not, why was a term chosen that's so closely related to and easily mistaken for amatonormativity? While it's sometimes used by English speaking aspecs, it's not a term that we've ever really seen used in German whereas amatonormativity (Amatonormativität) is pretty common in the aspec community. Whether it's because it's unknown or was rejected as an option is unclear.

Why should allonormativity be limited to only sexual attraction? Wouldn't it be more logical to say allosex- and alloronormativity, and when talking about both to use allonormativity?

How can the aro community talk about a specific form of discrimination when there is no concrete word for it? Would for example romonormativity be an alternative? Would it be some kind of appropriation if the aro community were to claim allonormativity for itself or would it be gatekeeping if the ace community were to monopolize it?

It's frustrating that we don't have an easy-to-use and universally-understood word for alloromantic normativity. If you think about it, it's actually a form of discrimination: It's (quite literally) a queer loss for words that silences us.

Does anyone know sources for the terms allonormativity and amanormativity? Do you have any other ideas how to call alloromantic normativity? How can we as a community develop a useful and valuable vocabulary?

TL;DR

What the aro community needs is less confusion and loss for words and more means to give specific discrimination a specific name. What do you call alloromantic normativity?

(Addendum: In our opinion, allonormativity is the most sensible option to define both alloromantic and allosexual normativity. This is how we've used the term so far and for now that's how we will keep on using it.)

Read this thread on Twitter.